My first couple of weeks in New Zealand- A long post!

I flew into Auckland airport on a saturday and the family that I was meant to au pair for picked me up from the airport. The little girl Grace, who is 7, came yelling my name as I walked out of customs. I could tell instantly that she was a good kid and that we would get along. The parents greeted me soon after and we ran out of the airport into a torrential downpour. Welcome to New Zealand! It rained all night but we made our way home on the VERY windy mountain roads, about 2 hours east of Auckland. I have to say, expectation can be a very awful thing. The more you expect, the more you are set up to be disappointed. I suppose that I was expecting a very perfect situation for myself in coming to be an au pair for this family. I mean, they owned a bakery, and in my mind, it was probably like my dream bakery, and I could bake beautiful cakes there, and then take care of Grace and be totally fulfilled and satisfied. So when I realized after the first day or two that my imagined visions were not the case, I FREAKED out. It was the first time on my trip where I really felt panicked. Looking back I realize that it was a very good learning experience about traveling alone and realizing that not everything has to work out, or will work out.
Very quickly I found out that Pauanui beach where the family lives, is the smallest little town I have ever been in. There are less than 600 people living there year round and at winter time, which it is becoming now, it goes down to even less. Plus, of those people, most of them are retired, very rich white people. I was about 1 of FIVE people in their twenties living in town. Quickly I realized as well that going from the bustling city of Melbourne to a town with no one living in it would be a very uncomfortable adjustment for me. As much as I craved some space and some nature to be immersed in, I wasn't ready for such a drastic transition. Also, my first interaction with the Kiwi culture was this- lots of old people, eating lots of meat pies and cheese bread, talking about the weather and the local news, and CONSTANTLY watching crap television. I felt like I was in some strange time warp, transported to the most beautiful place I have ever been, but filled with conservative old people. Imagine a very rural town in the midwest of the states, and just plop some absolutely gorgeous mountains and beaches around it and some people with funny accents (no offense to the kiwi accent :)) and thats about what it felt like in Pauanui. I was starving for a connection of any kind. When I told the family I was homesick, they seemed a bit put off and defensive and then the Mom continued to tell me about horror stories of past au pairs...One au pair left a week before her $1000 dollar bonus from the au pair agency they hired her through, another au pair left because she had a terrible illness that was fatal if she didn't get medical attention right away, and the one that tops all the others, one au pair tried to commit suicide...red flag?! This of course, did not put me at ease anymore, so I decided that I couldn't stay in this situation. I planned to stay until June so that they had time to find another au pair and because the Mom was about to have an operation done on her ankle and I didn't want to leave them in a dire situation. Also, my dream bakery? Is more like a fast food donut/pie shop. They didn't want me to bake after all, just to wait on customers at the counter. And the stuff they do bake is all processed and from mixes or frozen. So no artisan cake making for me. I felt really let down by that part of the deal.

So in the meantime I thought of survival tactics. And I wrote to so many friends and family, seeking love and support as I am always given by all of you and am so grateful. I was ready to turn back, thinking I couldn't do this whole traveling solo thing anymore, that I wasn't strong enough. You all calmed me with wise words and advice, and here I still am in New Zealand, so yay and thank you!
I really reached out in my first week in Pauanui. I found a yoga class that I went to twice that week that saved me. The yoga teacher told me about a eco retreat called Prana that was just over the mountain in the next town over called Opoutere- rhymes with potpurri. She said they were having a full moon party that friday and I should go because there would be young people there. Oh young people, how i did miss them! So that friday, with a hand drawn map on a paper bag, I went out in search of this party. I drove and drove, on the other side of the road mind you, for what felt like ever. I came to a dirt road and kept going. It was extremely dark, no lights at all, and the car I was driving didn't have high beams. It is amazing though what you can do when you are searching for something to connect to. I drove down the tiniest little dirt road, not seeing a thing in front of me, for about 20 minutes, going up and down all around crazy mountains, unsure if I would ever reach anything at all. I was just about to turn around when I found a little house with christmas lights on it. I took my chances, got out of the car and walked straight up to the house and inside. There were two men standing in the kitchen talking and drinking tea. I said very sheepishly "hi, I'm looking for the full moon festival, do you know where it is?" The very boisterous older man came over to me and said with a huge smile, "You're it! Welcome!!" That was Walter. A Danish world traveler, care taker of the Prana eco retreat, hippi extraordinaire.
Apparently the yoga teacher got the day wrong, the festival was the NEXT night, on saturday, but here was walter and the dj for the party, just talking logistics and hanging out. They made me some tea and asked me how the hell I got there in the dark. We talked for a few hours and man it felt so good to talk to some nice welcoming people who were interested in learning about each other! I left knowing I would return the next night. As I was driving back to the family, in the other town, I thought, how crazy is my life, living here in New Zealand, all alone in the smallest conservative town, and now going to the most liberal little hippi retreat just on the other side of this mountain. Never ever could I have pictured this life for myself! I felt so much better. I went back the next night for the moon festival and met some really wonderful and interesting people. A Irish girl who lives in Australia, a Kiwi who is studying Maori herbal medicine, a photographer, a tabla player, and so many more.
Also in my first week in Pauanui I got in touch with an amazing organic farm called Wilderland. It is a totally self sustaining farm about an hour away from Pauanui on the coast, and you can volunteer there or wwoof. I contacted them and set it up so that I could come volunteer and stay for my days off the next week.
My experience there was absolutely incredible. I learned from coming to New Zealand that I really shouldn't have too much expectation or set my hopes too high. So I went with just the intention of being open to everything and everyone- and it worked! The land is beautiful and there is every kind of fruit tree and vegetable growing you can imagine. Figs, apples, oranges, mandarins, persimmons, guavas, macadamias, walnuts, avocados, fejoas (which are amazing), kiwis, pears...and those are just the trees! They grow everything, including grains like barley and even sesame seeds. They have a huge communal house with a big open kitchen which they are doing a lot of preserving in at the moment for winter- huge batches of apple compote and green tomato chutney. Huge batches of sauerkraut and dried sliced persimmons that taste like candy. It was incredible. I got my own little caravan that you could see the sun rise over the water from. Everyone living there was so incredibly friendly and grateful for any kind of help. Everyone wakes up in the morning and meets in the main hall around 8 for breakfast and a meeting. Everyone discusses the missions of the day, and tasks get divvied up. The first day I helped run the wilderland shop, where they sell honey they've collected from their bees and all of the fruits and veggies and nuts they grow. The second day I helped in the garden weeding the carrot and beet beds and watering the tomatoes. At 1 in the afternoon a big huge metal bell is rung and that means lunch is ready. The afternoons are free, whether you want to keep working on a project or go off exploring or down to a estuary for a swim. In the evening people hang out in the main hall and make dinner or read or listen to music. I made fried green tomatoes the first night I was there! No one had ever experienced anything like it haha. If only I had had some remoulade sauce to go with it!
I met some really wonderful travelers, who all were so supportive and friendly. While I was there, I got some very surprising news. I got a text from the family I was living with that they had already found an au pair replacement, that they couldn't risk me leaving sooner than I said, so I was welcome to stay with them and work in the bakery for 15 hours a week in exchange for food and accommodation, but no pay.
As much as I was grateful for that offer, I also realized that I wouldn't have to stay as long as planned which was a huge relief! On returning back from the farm, I realized that my journey here was about to take a drastic change. Instead of staying with this family for the next few months as I thought I would when I came over to New Zealand, I was going to leave that and go off traveling. So thats where I am now. I am in the midst of preparing to leave Pauanui to meet up with Judith, a German traveler who I met at Wilderland who is nearing the end of her visa here. The plan as of now is to meet up, travel over to the Waihiki Islands together for a few days (they are off the coast near Auckland and supposed to be stunning), come back to Auckland and go from there. I am realizing now that I packed a big giant suitcase thinking that I could just plop down in one spot for the time I was here and really get comfortable, but it seems that is not the case, at least not yet. I am going to go with the connections I make and always make sure to follow the people that I feel good around rather than feeling stuck anywhere. Traveling is really a test in being open and reaching out and finding the opportunities when they present themselves. I have learned so much in just my first week of being here, and I am so much stronger and happier because of it now.
This is SUCH a long post, so thanks to all of you who read through it all! I am bad at being concise sometimes :)
Will update you again next week with more news and where I am at the moment!